Sponsor:
Visit our Sponsors!
Another Shitty Day
A day in the life of an angry Aramark worker. Don't ask us how we got this, we're not allowed to reveal any sources. This may or may not be real.
Another Shitty Day
Well, what a surprise. I woke up this morning, face down in a puddle of my own drool, just to find that I had accidentally inhaled too many fumes from the deep fryer and passed out in the hot dog bin. Donna was there already. I don?t know why the fuck anyone would get to work an hour and a half before their shift starts, but what the hell do I know. When no one was looking I added some Jack Daniels to the macaroni and cheese and went about my business concocting the fake omelet mixture. We ran out of dirty Mexican hair, so I used some of my own.

I?m sure as hell sick of feeding these puss-bag college kids. You got the real assholes that just rolled out of bed after a long night of pretending they had a girlfriend to mess around with, the nerdy little bitches that have been up since 7:30 doing extra math problems for fun, and the 4 chicks that actually go to this shitball school. Of all the freakin? colleges in the world, I gotta work at the one that has more robots than females. And they aren?t even hot robot broads either. These kids aren?t worth the grease it takes to cook this food, much less the hard work I put in, day in and day out.

The boss is on my ass again. Apparently putting whipped cream on Saltine crackers doesn?t count as a dessert. So frickin? sue me. How the hell was I supposed to know? He?s just pissed off because I beat him in poker last week. He tried to bluff me with a pair of 8?s. Little did he know that I put a healthy dose of tranquilizers in the milk machine before we started so I would have taken all his shit after he passed out anyway. Dumb bastard. He gave Jeff that promotion to Smoothie Guy at Empire but I?m still stuck here as a worker grunt at Ro-Bro. That jerk Jeff is just lucky he?s got pictures of me screwing the boss? wife.

This dumbass kid dropped a plate on the floor today. Then he looks around all stupid like, ?what the hell happened I?m smart and I thought these plates were made out of solid titanium wah wah wah? in a whiny dumbass voice. Then his buddies laughed and gave him a high five. Well we?ll see how much you?ll be laughing when you?ve graduated and are trying to find a decent engineering job. A whole shitload of good my mechanical engineering degree did me. Good luck with the job market, kiddo! Next thing you know you?ll have your face against a wall in the back of an alley with some guy who keeps screaming in your ear about student loan payments.

Well since that bitch Stacey kicked me out again it looks like I?ll be sleeping on the store of hamburger buns. I better get there before that broad with the greasy hair locks the goddamn door.
Sponsor:
Visit our Sponsors!
Admin Login

The Knight is in no way associated with anyone or anything. We are not an official Clarkson website. The ads on this site are probably fake, and if you take them seriously then there is something seriously wrong with you, seriously. But seriously, don't take anything from this site, that would make us angry. And if you make us angry, all it takes is one phone call to have Wick on you like butter on bread. Or a super advanced robot from the neo-facist future on bread, whichever you prefer.

If you spot any anything wrong with the site, please email the webmaster so that he may use his web mastery to fix it.

  This image makes our site look better  Internet Explorer is okay  Mozilla is cool too  This site works in 800 x 600  Yeah, php, I like it  A program I love to hate