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Tuition
You probably were wondering exactly what happens to your $36,000* a year, and so we here at The Knight ran the numbers and figured where it all goes.
Tuition
Where Your Tuition Goes


You probably were wondering exactly what happens to your $36,000* a year, and so we here at The Knight ran the numbers and figured where it all goes. Of course, one might ask why we don?t pay the professors, but the obvious answer to that is ?Shut Up?. This is where the real money goes.

32% Getting the internet to work
-$10,000 Lost when Peoplesoft crashed
-$1,000 Getting Peoplesoft to work
-$500 Invested in the Elementary school to solve the problem

25% Hockey
-$5,000 Buying all that ice
-$3,000 Feeding the Zamboni with souls of opposing players (Bonesaw)
-$1,000 Supplying the Camera crew with 70?s equipment

18% Bribes to Government
-$5,000 FDA doesn?t inspect ARAMARK
-$1,500 No questions are asked of the citizenship of our ?abundant? TA?s

9% Campus Safety
-$7,000 New SUVs each year
-$500 Moving the No Parking signs every day to confuse students
+$4,000 Parking Fines (that?s per student)

8% Rights to building names
-$2,000 Helen Snell Cheel
-$750 Science J. Center
-$5 Quad T. Pit

5% Campus Beautification
-$1,000 Make sure it scares off girls
-$750 Salt or dirt all over the sidewalks in winter

3% Architecture Plans for various buildings about campus
-$750 Search Committee for worst Architect
-$250 Convincing that Architect to design the science center upside-down


* If you want to calculate the current tuition as of your reading the article, simply multiply by 2 for each year it is beyond 2005
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