A History of The Knight

Here is the complete and perfect conglomeration of the entire History behind The Knight Magazine. At first I thought that it was a simple club that started in the 80's or something... but now I have discovered the disturbing truth.

The Green Griffin (1928 - 1937)
The Knight began not as The Knight, but as a far more evil title... "The Green Griffin". In our highly covert operation into the nether regions of Old Snell, we found a 75th anniversary chronological thingy. Inside was the following picture, which is actually quite funny.


In the very first publication of the Green Griffin, there was a six-page rip off of the Integrator called the Instigator, a nickname still used in the 2001 issue of The Knight almost 75 years later. Needless to say the Interagator pisses people off even today.

The Knight Magazine (1956 - 1996)
No one really knows why the Griffin died, anyone who did is either old or dead, so I ain't talking to them. I think people just forgot what it was like to laugh at everything around them. Which must have been hard when the people looked like this:




This picture was of the 1971 Knight Magazine club. It may make sense if you understood the time period... it's just after Viet-nam but before Nixon did Watergate. The whole club would turn emo once they found out Nixon had sexual relations with Michelle Watergate. I think that's how it went.

The Knight Magazine lasts a long time, but alas the cost to print the stupid thing became too much and the club went bankrupt. It seems that yet again people forgot what Clarkson is really about: complaining to everybody about your problems with the school.

The Knight Magazine (2000 and 2001)
These two "Resurrection Issues" were an attempt to rebuild the legacy of the Knight Magazine and definately definatley NOT run out of money again. They ran out of money again and The Knight Magazine was laid to rest. The two issues printed can be found below. I think part of the reason they didn't sell was that the Internet having started up made people forget what paper actually is.

Spring 2000 Issue
Spring 2001 Issue

The Knight (2004 - 2158)
We already know that we'll last until 2158 because we asked Prof. Wick. He was there a few days ago. Anyway, onto the story...

Adam and Kevin had a vision. They would restart the publication for a fourth time. Luckily for the campus, a small problem came up before they could print their first issue. They ran out of money. More accurately, they never had any to begin with. This is just as well because only Adam could write funny things and thus they didn?t have much material. That?s when Kevin had a revelation... why not just make a webpage and not waste money? (Kevin especially loved the Internets) So they quickly wrote up a constitution and sent it in to CUSA to start the club (this can be found on the site somewhere).

A secretary read it and said, ?That was funny guys, but here?s the old Knight constitution for you to model a real constitution on.? Adam and Kevin didn?t even read that constitution, but submitted it instantly and it was accepted immediately (I?m serious). The club was reborn one final time under the one condition set down by the founders... ?We just want free web space?

Well, Adam made the website and then promptly left Clarkson in pursuit of an English teaching degree, leaving Kevin as the president of a club with one member... Kevin. Since then The Knight has grown tremendously and now has just over 1200 members in 24.5 states (this one guy lives in Wyoming). At some point our members will be defined by their participation in the club and not by being associated with the show Knight Rider. That show rocks.

- Kevin Saccoccia,
President* of The Knight (2004 - when the money stops)


* We think we?re supposed to have a President. We didn?t read our submitted constituition, but that?s probably what they have as the guy in charge. I?m not in charge at all, but if something illegal went down on the site, I?d get the blame. As long as nowhere in our actual constituition it said anything about ?None of the articles appearing in the official publication will in any way be condescending or false in reference to any staff member at Clarkson?**, I?ll be fine.

** It totally does. And we really have to stop doing that. Victims as of January 2006 include : ___, and that one chick from GrillWorks that says ?Huhhh?? after whatever you say. Any one of them could complain and get CUSA to close down The Knight forever. So have fun contacting them.